Dependance

On whom do you depend? On whom do you want to depend? Dependance is a theme that has been in my prayers a lot lately. I am in a place of being dependant on God... Actually we all are, we just usually don't see it. I do see it, more and more. I love the fact that God loves us enough that he brings us to a place, or allows us to wander to a place- where we see first hand that we are God-dependant. He wants us to seek Him for our needs, and regularly. I have prayed a lot of times in my life for needs that I had, often financial ones. To date, I have not had a winning lottery ticket magically blow in the window and land on my bed as I was kneeling there in prayer. As much as I may think that would be great, that has not been my experience of God's provision, but I have seen God's provision! Just not in the ways I may dream of. Usually He provides in ways I don't anticipate. Sometimes He also provides in ways I don't appreciate, at least not the way I should. Living and working much of my life as a full time missionary, I often don't have the ability to go get a job and live off it. At times I have, but right now, as I am living on a ship in the US, it would be both impossible time-wise (As I work more than full time and am liable to sail away anytime) as well as illegal. As a Canadian, I can't just go get a job here anyways. So living here, and doing what I am doing, I see very clearly that I am reliant on God's provision. Believe me, when I go online to check my bank account, I am praying! I know that I have certain financial obligations, but I also know that by my works, I cannot fulfill them. My options are to 1.) Drop what I am doing, leave here and return to Canada and do something else, or 2.) Trust God for a miracle. The deciding factor is that I really believe this is where I am supposed to be. I cannot think of anything in the world I would would rather be doing, or anywhere I would rather be. I felt clearly for a long time that I needed to get back here doing this sort of thing, and I am happier and more at peace right now than I can remember being. I love my job, I love this ministry, and more than anything I love what God is doing inside of me. I love the Peace that He has brought me. I am excited about getting the Mersea ready for sea and I am excited about taking the Hope to Nevis in May. I am excited that it looks as though I will have the opportunity to sail as 3rd mate. That is so cool. It's totally in God's hands if it does happen but I am excited, it's something I have wanted to do since I was in my teens. I remember how many people shared with me pictures or words the Lord gave them for me before I came down here, and almost all of them had to do with me being on a ship, at the helm, up the mast or in the chartroom. In most of those cases the people told me they saw rough waters coming, but the Lord was there with me, and His Peace was all around. It is so exciting to be here, to see these things happening. The Lord led me to a church here that I love, and it has been such a blessing to me. This morning they didn't even preach or anything, just worship. It was so awesome. So what am I gonna do? I'm going to serve the Lord. I'm going to do what He has brought me here to do, and I just pray all the time that my very life would be a living sacrifice to Him. I pray that every word I speak, every action I make would honor Him, would please Him. And I know that my God is fully able to provide for all of my needs, whatever they may be.